Advice on emotion and such?

That sounds really rough. My advice is to see a psychiatrist as soon as you can. They can help you figure out what's wrong and make a plan to treat it with therapy and possibly medication. There is help out there to be found. If you are in school, you may be able to get the phone number of a local doctor from a school counselor. I am sure there are online resources to help you find someone as well. It sounds like you already have good support from your boyfriend. It would probably help to have your parents or another friend informed of how you are feeling as well. Just try to remember that there are people who want to help you if you ask!